words: my birth
It's been almost a year. A year long. A breath. And while the memories fade, I'm afraid to forget. One year because of stomach of odors and emotions. One year when I found out, despite a good girl I did not believe in any way cynically, that the maternal instinct does exist, in spite of everything, in spite of myself, mostly.
Before the year shoots and really forget everything, I would put in writing (finally) highlight the memories of the expulsion of the infant, otherwise known as confinement.
So here it is. Imperfect, incomplete, perhaps filled with platitudes.
January 2010. The contractions in recent months have become increasingly numerous and frequent (and they were exactly like those precedon childbirth, even though I had always heard that it is not), but above the belly increasingly abnormal. Even the famous gynecologist sfizzero looks at me more and more terrified of saying that speriam born a bit 'before! But he, as yet unnamed, he was very comfortable in the warmth (and I believe, who was out in the cold), despite the limited room, and came with only four days in advance.
I was convinced it would come with the snow. And so it was. On the night of January 28 and 27 began to snow, and I lost the infamous cap. I went back to bed and I said to Mr. Coppola: love, I believe that something is moving ... Ah, yes? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzh. Oh well, thanks for your participation. When the course (not completed Wow!) The midwife said when inizian labor pains if you do not wake up her husband at night, I thought, but it's crazy? Already I have to give birth, making him the less I have to let him sleep with the anxiety and the rest? But a surreal calm has taken hold of me, and I thought, better rest, and I have put back to bed too.
the morning to stomach ache and has significantly lowered the contractions and make me realize that perhaps we really, but I was not convinced, I repeat: I had contractions for months, then it could be the usual false alarm.
The husband goes to work and tells me you want me to leave the car? I mean, ok, independent, but are you stupid? Go to the hospital by car in labor (and even the snow) I seems a bit 'too much, no? I turn to my mother: Do you think these are the first labor? Answer: I do not know, I never had! Thanks for your help, 'but! And yes I had two natural births, eh? But it seems that she has missed the prodromal period ..
However, for the first time I did not really want to go out (in previous days, despite the cold and back pain I used to long walks). I take a shower to see if the pain passes, but nothing. I decide to pass the time making a delicious cake, I had tasted the Saturday before, the A pfelstreuselkuchen:
wife relaxed voice: how are you? Well well, if you consider that I have contractions every four minutes, would you come home maybe? It comes, I am a bit on the bed and fuck 'on fb with friends, just to distract me. Misuriam with the stopwatch: 3 minutes between contractions. Decidiam to eat a quick meal (both recommended that the course will have to eat) and finally chiamiam the hospital that says to go and show me.
Obviously it snows, just as I imagined in my fantasy. I am a midwife and arrival monitoring, tells me that everything is ok, apart from the pressure a bit 'low, that I am 3 cm dilated and asks me if I ate and if I want to stay or go home yet. I say that I have not the slightest idea that she is the expert could not give me a hint? Oh well, decidiam to go and make a walk in the garden (yes, with frost and the snow will be the 21 or so), during the walk through a contraction e l'altra (ormai sempre più fortine) decidiam finalmente il nome: e Leonardo sia! Torniam sù diciam all'ostetrica che se non ha nulla in contrario andremmo un paio d'ore a casa (a guardarci Annozero, ma questo l'omettiamo, ovviamente!). Lei ci dice: ma siete pazzi? Ho guardato meglio il tracciato, hai contrazioni ogni due minuti, ma dove vuoi andare??? E gliel'avevo detto io! Mica mentivo eh?? è lei che me l'ha chiesto!
Comunque, ci fa accomodare in questa stanzetta carinissima, con lettino, divanetto e bagno rpivato. Non che me la goda molto, perche da lì a cinque minuti le contrazioni si fanno davvero insopportabili. Intanto cambia il turno, arriva la mia ostetrica, una ragazza tedesca, giovane e minuta, molto dolce e anche brava: ha fatto tutto da sola, e non c'era nessun altro in tutto il reparto! Mi chiede se voglio far un bagno in questa vasca stupenda con oli rilassanti e quant'altro, mi rilasso (per quel che si può) due minuti due ma poi mi si rompon le acque e da lì i dolori son davvero insostenibili e senza tregua, quindi mi rivesto (si fa per dire, ho un bel camice!!) e vado in sala parto! Provo mille posizioni, son stanca e mi sembra davvero di non farcela più, però lei mi dice che son già a 8 cm (leggi: niente epidurale cocca, tra poco ci siamo!), mi incita - e con lei Mr Coppola, che non perde mai la calma- , mi ripete che ce la faccio (e io dico no, mo, and then no: Schaff ich es nicht ! I believe in the delusion that he asked if I could make at least a break), they say I do not push, but it really seems impossible, Leonardo now shows the temper that he and drives like a madman! Finally I permetton to sit on the stool and push for the birth. In the meantime, get my gynecologist, addormentatissimo, you listen to the CD that I had prepared for labor (but if it is the only one who heard it was him! Category: Beautiful Song-my-gynecologist speaks Italian it is Elvis? ehh?!? Phew, pant, azz, how? One moment, I do not feel that ... Ah, no, whatever!) and occasionally handing me a glass of water! Comunque in non troppe spinte Leopard è finalmente fuori. A metà credo davvero di non farcela, mi dicono: ma nooo, si vedon già i capelli, ne ha tantissimi (in tedesco) !!! Ed io: ma cosa m'importa dei capelli, fatelo uscireeeee!!! Comunque: è lì. Non mi sembra vero. Mi immaginavo un esserino piccolo piccolo. E invece la prima cosa che esclamo è: ma è grande! Ed è bellissimo!!
Me lo metton subito sulla pancia, mentre mi dicon di spinger ancora per espellere la placenta, ma ormai non capisco più nulla, continuo a guardarlo inebetita e dire: è bellissimo, no?? Lo controllano velocemente mentre il medico mi ricuce (And bad, but this is another sad chapter) and then me and we rimetton breast Permit all three a bit 'lying together on the couch. And I wonder how you can pass so quickly from a state of pain and semidisperazione pure ecstasy. Then Rompon the charm, they make me get up (but I can not, I am too weak and I lose too much blood) and I bring home in your room. Cacciani the poor father, while I Permit with Leopard in bed. Are already five in the morning will dawn soon. Leonardo sleeps, I watch it, smell it, touch it and do not seem true. Mervaglia am overwhelmed and I can not sleep. It's already morning, the white light coming through the window full of snow. It's a magical evening, snow covers all the noise and makes it all hushed and sweet. Scene reaching a huge tray full of delicious things for breakfast. My stomach has finally reopened after nine months and I savor everything and I think, is our breakfast together, and it is perfect!
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